"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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