I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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