I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
