You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
