Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
