He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
