last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
