ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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