Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize