sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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