As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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