i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
