Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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