What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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