my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
