epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I party with great urgency now.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize