turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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