Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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