My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you would pick up someone in the library
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
