don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
