does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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