Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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