is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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