is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
