i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
