We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
