New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
