I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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