just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
