If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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