he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
