Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
