BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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