Porn is love you can see.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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