Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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