i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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