i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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