the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
