On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
