i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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