It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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