Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
