I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
