New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
