lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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