I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
