let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
