I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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