Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
