i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
