dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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