apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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