Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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