i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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