if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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