I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
