dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
