Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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