so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
