i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
