and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
