Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize