God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
