i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
