At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
